Requirements:
- Ability to lead
- 2+ years agency experience
- No criminal record
- Storyteller
- Recent breakup or other fresh emotional wound that will lend favor to a cut-throat business environment
- Reliable project manager
- 2+ references from family members of David Ogilvy
- Not more handsome than Chuck
In the event that you are called in, you will be expected to prove your effectiveness by quantifying every dollar of sales that you generated as an account manager. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for teams you were a part of. We'll want you to prove that investments made in your division directly contributed to x dollars of sales for your client. No digital media allowed. Billboards, newspaper and direct mailings only. Applicants should only drink Coka-cola products, prove ownership of an iPhone 6 and 15" Macbook Retina display, and fill out all application forms with a Bik pen. Options for dining, shopping and following on social networks are limited to clients of LIVO media. You may not accept Christmas Gifts or Birthday Wishes from Pepsi users of anyone with a history using Dell products. Your mother is a whore.
LIVO is an equal opportunity employer with a preference for Blacks, Latinas or other non-whites. Our workplace bathrooms are segregated to give colored people the same experience whites have today in high-end establishments. 87% of our cleaning staff is of Latin origin. We admire the skill sets of all qualified Latin Americans and look forward to showing you how you could contribute with a broom and a mop. Many gay people work for us. We ask simply that you leave that all at home. We are equal opportunity, which means a gay can only be hired if there is an even number of gays in the workplace.
LIVO is an enterprise-focused B2B content hub generator operating out of major U.S. markets in collaboration with innovative tech incubator entrepreneurs.
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