Wanted: Lead Product Developer

Fortune 500 consumer product company seeks a Lead Product Developer in the Boston, Philadelphia or Tuscaloosa markets. Pay is top of market. Lead Product Developer will lead all teams in bringing new ideas to market and tinkering with our more popular products to respond to customer demand. 10+ years leading a product development department required. Looking for people with roots in engineering not marketing. 3 weeks paid vacation with weekends off and another week paid sick leave. Ability to speak German a plus. Extensive traveling required. Most days will be spent traveling, Skyping and reading engineering plans. Flight Pilot experience a must. Ability to sail the seven Seas with limited damage to top-notch sailing equipment preferred. Applicant may need to spend nights as a stowaway in dangerous environment. All travel miles may be billed back to employer. Travel budget capped at $1k per year. Looking for committed applicants only - eat raw fish, hunt wildlife on land and read your time and area with the stars. Please attach Match.com proof of relation to Christopher Columbus. Background leading whites against minorities appreciated, especially if applicant can prove they won territory with superior products. This is a 5 year contract position in France.