Harris University seeks a Photo Journalist to cover on-campus events for the 2014-2015 school year. The Journalist can use his or her iPhone. Position will cover all sport and social events from August 2014 - May 2015. This is an unpaid internship for ambitious journalists. Harris University is a popular destination for Fine Arts and Psychology students in the Delaware Valley Area.
Only blonde haired, blue eyed Germans will be accepted. Please memorize the first page of Hitler's Mein Kempf. You'll be expected to dress as Hitler in his final days. For character development ideas see the 2004 film Downfall. Upon entering the interview room you'll need to give the Nazi Salute and spit on the rag doll of Mort from the Family Guy series. Kick Mort, get on the ground on all fours and harass him. Lock him in the box and spray the windex in it. The interviewer, Abraham, will not be expecting this scene. He will fight to get you out of the room and remove Mort from the box. Terminate him. Remove his shoes and socks and wipe your bloody hands on his feet. Leave a note at the scene framing Harris University President Haanz Larsen for the scene. Take I-76 E to Delaware and get on a boat to the Jersey beaches. Throw your iPhone into the water and start your new life. This position ends May 2015.
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