Saturday, November 29, 2014

Wanted: Professor

Shape Shifting omnivore willing to work long hours and weekends if necessary. You'll be teaching Philosophy to university students. Very important to have previous experience communicating with those beyond this life or attending our university. We love being first-time employers to our own. SMU is a leader in education tech. Applicants will use state of the art projectors to display light shows and Apple (tm) case studies 'cause it's all about the education. Stoic. No remorse for slacker students. Son of a butterscotch biscuit. First priority is the student second is yourself. Family isn't on our radars here. Homophobic bisexual with lots of confidence.

Good luck go Tigers!

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