Wanted: Paleontologist

Time Traveling cucumber with Masters degrees in bio-engineering and molecular engineering. Undergrad Fine Arts degree from an Austin Texas commune. Salary is $1 million per year with 10-20% bonuses. Ability to teleport from the earth's core, back home and into the office seamlessly. Traffic is a real issue in our city so please make it clear what type of space flight device you'll be using to break the speed of sound and tie up some loose end in employee-transportation logistics around here. Please attach resume and a revised periodic table with 5-7 new elements discovered by you or your team in the past 12 hours.