Wanted: Head of Engineering

Pennsylvania Engineering Firm is seeking a lead engineer for its team of 5+ engineering interns. Position pays $150,000-$200,000 per year. Applicant should have at least 30 years experience in bio-engineering, chemical engineering or related field. Requirements: 10 patents, 4 of which have been licensed by Oracle and marketed with great success to B2B industrial manufacturing organizations in Russia, China or other world power. Entrepreneurial. Net worth of at least $100MM. Experience fine-tuning the hubble space telescope. Academic. Applicant must have worked 10+ years as a Professor at a well-respected international university. Chili pepper should be red on RateMyProfessor profile and average rating should be below a 3.5. Food, pet care and child day care are provided on our campus. Bring designs for innovative day care center to the interview that will reduce carbon emissions in Montreal by 400% within 3 years, develop an advertising campaigns to let people know we did this and manufacture a line of bath soaps to leverage our new place in the Green market. Applicant should arrive on time and in Professional attire to our headquarters in Bensalem, PA. There are no bus stops or train stations with 40 miles of our building. If you run you will be shot. Our snipers have taken the lives of many. Platonic Engineering matches experienced job-seekers with well funded startups led by world-class scientists.