Wanted: Freelance Writer

Looking for an experienced freelance writer to contribute 100-200 word blog posts in the Medical field once a week. Winning applicant will be paid $50 per article. Articles may contain no grammatical errors and must obey all SEO best practices. Requirements: some experience in the medical field, at least 3-5 written samples that have trended worldwide on either Twitter or Facebook. Applicant must have experience completing and selling major motion pictures. More specifically, the winning applicant should have sold 12 Years a Slave. NO applicants with ANY children or loved ones nearby. Prefer applicants with no access to phone or internet outside of the 4 hours slot you'll develop our posts. Please attach your resume and tell us why we're the perfect fit for this world. Pay is made every 4 years on credit, money is held in a Swiss bank account. Fly to Switzerland, unbutton your pants and do as the bellboy tells you to unlock a secret 4 digit code. Take a cab to a Swiss bank and harass the front-desk attentdant. Only after you've risked your livelihood and reputation will a small box be brought to the lobby with the cash. Taxes, 40%, will be taken out already. Opportunities to move up will be made available.