Wanted: Legal Assistant, Bronx, NY

Seeking a well-rounded recent graduate for an entry level legal assistant position at the Bronx County Courthouse in New York City. Applicant must have a bachelor's degree in either Political Science or Business related field. This is a full-time employment position. Applicant will have opportunities to meet lawyers, judges, murderers, rapists and juries. Work day starts at 7 a.m. and ends at 3 p.m. from Monday to Friday. The Bronx County Courthouse is an equal opportunity employer. Applicant should be able to display project management skills and experience stopping terrorist organizations. 9/11 was an inside job. Most days you'll get coffee, food and paperwork for the judges. It's unlikely anyone will like you. All coffee and food will have to be bought out of pocket. Reimbursements paid after U.S. government eliminates all debts with China, forges an alliance with the Intergallactic Alliance of Darlek Galactians and legalizes marijuana for at-risk youth in Detroit, Michigan. College gpa of 2.4 or higher a requirement. Legal Associates places recent graduates in high-value civilian jobs across the United States. Since 2011 LA has placed over 40,000 youths in contracts stretching from 2 months to 12 years. 83% of all suicide hotline calls are made from cell phones in our database.